


I'm Sorry *Tommy

by BitchBoyWill (ThatOneWill)



Category: No Fandom
Genre: Angst and Feels, Childhood Trauma, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Depressed Wilbur Soot, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Psychological Horror, Rape/Non-con Elements, Wilbur Soot is Not Okay, traumatised tommy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-13 05:49:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29771607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatOneWill/pseuds/BitchBoyWill
Summary: Wilbur has been dealing with the unforgivable thoughts about his close friend and brotherly figure Tommy. The boy brings happiness in his depressing life, but he knows that these emotions are consuming him.
Relationships: Wilbur Soot/TommyInnit
Comments: 12
Kudos: 82





	I'm Sorry *Tommy

_‘6 pm’_

The time read on Wilbur’s phone

The man laid there unmoved on his bed since this morning, his head pounding from the constant misuse of alcohol, this whole being famous thing was putting a toll on Wilbur’s mental health and he couldn’t take it anymore, he needed a well-deserved break from the hungry eyes of social media.

Of course, he had told his friends and everyone about his long hiatus, he knew how his fans would get if he vanished from all his social media platforms. Everyone would probably assume that he was dead. The idea of that didn’t so sound bad. Wilbur tried to convince his friends that he was taking some time off for some self care, but that was far from the truth. The times that he would usually spend streaming or on group calls were now replaced with him endlessly spending his time in bed sulking and getting intoxicated with any liquor that he could get his hands on.

His own friends began to talk less with him, usually messaging Wilbur on how he was feeling or that if he ever needed anything that they were always here for him. Wilbur felt nothing when he had received these texts. He felt as if all they were doing was showing him pity. He hated it. Wilbur wanted to just wanted to drown in the wave of his own negative thoughts.. the only person showed genuine signs of care and love for the man was _Tommy.._

The teen always showed fondness towards him, Wilbur had always assumed that this was because they had a brotherly bond and that they shared a mutual closeness to one another, but how he wished that their bond were more than something of brothers. Wilbur felt himself getting sick at what that insinuated. He didn’t want hurt Tommy.

Wilbur heard a chime come from his phone, curiously he picked it up and turned it on. Expecting it to be Phil, giving him an inspirational quote to try and cheer him up. But to Wilbur’s surprise it wasn’t.

_‘1 Unread message from: “Tommy :D”_

Tommy :D : WILBUR??? ARE YOU DEAD AGAIN?!?

_‘He seems desperate’_

Wilbur: Nah just laying in bed, what did ya want Toms?

Tommy :D : I wanted to talk to you dickhead!! Could we call please? I need to ask something

Wilbur was unmotivated to have a full on conversation with Tommy, despite that he knew that Tommy would keep on pestering him about this, so he decided to accept.

Wilbur: Okay, call me when ever your ready

Before he could even put his phone down to have a long think about what he was going to say, his phone began to ring loudly, almost scaring the living day lights out of him. Tommy was already calling him. The bright light illuminated on his face as he picked up, hurting Wilbur’s eyes that were so used to the constant darkness of his room. He grumbled before accepting the call. “Hello?”

“WILBUR!! MY MAN!!! How are you doing??” Tommy sounded ecstatic to be able to talk to the older one. Wilbur didn’t realise how much missed their friendly chats and Tommy’s lovely voice. Wilbur sat there in complete silence, his thoughts being clouded with negativity once again, there was too much on his mind currently to give an honest response, he didn’t want to plague the younger with all his worries and anxieties. “Wilbur…?”

_‘Tommy…’_

“Oh! Sorry Toms, I was having a think. I’m fine- What was it that you wanted to talk about??” He asked trying to make a swift recovery from the melancholic episode. He hoped that Tommy wasn’t in trouble or anything, that this was just going to be a simple and genuine conversation. _Like the old times._ Wilbur was ready to listen what Tommy had to tell him, its not like his time was being wasted on other ‘important’ things.

“Could we meet again? Please Wilbur? My parents will be out all day and it could just be the two of us. I.. just miss spending time with you big man.” Wilbur could hear the desperation in Tommy’s voice. He felt breathless. He couldn’t allow himself for Tommy see him in this state “No Tommy we can’t.”

It hurt Wilbur having to say that, though as much as he wanted to meet up and spend the day together to get up to their shenanigans, Wilbur knew that he wouldn’t be able to control his ever still growing emotions. He didn’t want to hurt Tommy.

Wilbur heard the angered grunt on the others line. “Wilbur stop being such a bitch! Come on pleaseee!!” How badly the man wanted to submit to the pleas and whines of Tommy. He wanted to be able to hold on to him and and _and_ \- “Tommy no. Your parents probably wouldn’t like me coming over anyway” Wilbur tried to be stern and make Tommy rethink what he wanted, it pained him having to deny this offer that Tommy was giving. An offer that he wanted so badly to accept. “Wilby.. please?? For me??”

_‘Wilby.. oh fuck Toms.. what are you doing to me?’_

Wilbur absolutely melted at the nickname that Tommy had given him, he felt as if Tommy was saying this on purpose, to get something out of it. He bit on to his lip picturing the teen looking up at him with those electric blue eyes, just so full of energy and life, Wilbur just getting all lost in them.. how he was craving to touch the other all over, feeling his smooth and untouched skin. How he would-

_‘no NO. STOP IT!!’_

He felt repulsed by his own overwhelming imagination and where his twisted fantasies were leading him, he couldn’t deny that he wanted to go see Tommy. Even if it was for the wrong reasons. Wilbur tried to reassure himself that if he accepts this that he would exclusively ‘keep his hands and feet to himself’ just if as long as Tommy didn’t try to do anything suggestive or touchy than he should be fine. _Right?? Right._ He wasn’t one of _those_ scum of the earth men. _Was he?_ He was just going to see the other and chat, like friends do.

“Okay Toms.. Tomorrow ill come over for a visit.”

After the call, Wilbur laid in bed with a cold sweat. His phone now silent and no voice of Tommy to be heard. Wilbur was missing the others voice already, it lingered in his mind. He wanted to hurt himself badly, to punish himself for previously having those disgusting thoughts about a kid that he considered to be a brotherly figure. Wilbur winced at the thought of Tommy looking teary eyed at him as he got totally ruined. These thoughts began to wonder abouts and make up fake scenarios where it was just him and Tommy. Most of them were pure and innocent.. they were rather lovely.. it made him go all soft and fuzzy. The other ones? Not so much…

‘ _Maybe we share the same feelings? What If… he feels the same way I do?’_

The hope he was holding on left a foul taste in his mouth. _Plainly bittersweet._ The man shifted himself to the side, his eyelids feeling heavy and tired. Hugging onto his own pillow, giving out a few long sobs and desperately wishing that he wasn’t alone in this lifeless house. Everything was purely quiet and still. He dreaded this moment. Wilbur’s running thoughts began to consume him in the silence, almost suffocating him. For now he tried to get some sleep, but tonight that wasn’t going to be easy. Not Tommy with on his mind.

The morning came painfully slow, Wilbur hardly got any sleep that night, he didn’t want to get up and see Tommy. He was fearful of what the outcome of him going for a simple visit would lead to, but at the same time he could imagine how upset poor Tommy would be, he didn’t want to loose the others trust just because he ‘pussied’ out on going to see him. Conflicted, Wilbur raised himself from the bed. He wasn’t known to break a promise. He looked at the empty bottles that were scattered around the floor, his room reeked from the mixed liquors. Right now he had to freshen up _‘ill clean this later’_

Wilbur was stumbling on his way to the bathroom with fresh clothes in one arm, his brain still groggy and stale, no thoughts which oddly comforted him. It was better this way. As he walked into the bathroom Wilbur got undressed, his skin was sensitive to the coolness of the air causing him to shiver, he simply had discarded his dirty clothing to the side while placing the fresh clean ones gently on the bathroom cabinet.

Soon he would turn on the shower, feeling the hot water run down his bare body, getting in between every crease found on him. Wilbur was silent, the warm water crashing down on him was soothing. He could stay like this for ages without moving. The steam filled the room around him as he began to zone out into his own thought. Tommy was on his mind again. He hated it, but it didn’t stop him from further drifting into the depths of his guilty pleasure.

Wilbur wanted no.. _needed_ the boy to be all over him, he wanted to fill his empty and pathetic life with Tommy. Have him snuggled up in his arms as he let his hands wonder and feel every each inch of Tommy.. Wilbur was too invested in his own mind that let out a flustered groan before popping back into reality, immediately placing his hand over his mouth. _‘Disgusting! You’re a vile creature Wilbur..’_ He growled, not being able to handle it anymore, causing him to step out of the shower. Wanting to go back to his empty thoughts and nothing more.

Soon Wilbur put on some clothes, all dressed up in his signature yellow sweater and just some black jeans. He didn’t want to spend anymore time in his home it would best if he had left now. Breakfast had to be skipped, Wilbur was running late already and he still had a 2 hour drive to Tommy’s. Grabbing his keys he left his place in a dash, feeling the clean air rush into his lungs. It was a nice unlike the stuffiness of his home. Just refreshing. He cursed at him for standing out in the cold and got into his car not long after.

Wilbur decided to check his messages to tell Tommy that he was now going to leave his lonesome apartment.

_‘5 Unread messages from “Tommy :D”’_

Tommy :D : GOOD MORNING BIG MAN.

Tommy :D : HELLO???ARE YOU AWAKE???

Tommy :D : YOU BETter be!!

Tommy :D : you better have not lied to me dick head!!! >:(

Tommy :D : ANSWER NOW.

The man fumbled with his fingers giving a slight chuckle as he read through Tommy’s seemingly angry texts, it was _cute…_

Wilbur: Im on my way now Toms

Without looking on what Tommy replied with next, Wilbur had already started up his car, driving off into the distance. He knew the thoughts that awaited him would return as soon he hit the road. Maybe it wouldn’t be that scary this time.. Oh how wrong he had been…

The car ride was an absolute pain in the ass. He was out of his car and stood in front of the teens house just being semi angry with himself since all that he could think about was Tommy, tommy and “Tommy! Oh.. hello!” Wilbur said rather surprised, he didn’t expect Tommy to be waiting out in the cold for him. He wanted to stand there and admire Tommy’s features “Wilbur!! My man!! Come in, come in” But Tommy seemed to be in a hurry to get inside the house. Wilbur assumed that this was because the child had been waiting outside for ages.

As soon as they got inside Wilbur began to realise now how vulnerable Tommy was. His parents weren’t home.. so he could practically get away with anything. No one had to know. _‘Wilbur.. stop you don’t want to hurt him’_ Wilbur sat himself on Tommy’s couch, his hands and gaze on to his own knees. He was trying to control himself. It was difficult with the presents of Tommy.

The blonde boy seemed to be fine, cheery and smiley. He seemed to be glad that his _dear_ friend was spending some quality time with him and not sat at home sulking, Wilbur could feel Tommy’s now worried gaze on him as he walked closer, taking a seat right near Wilbur. His eyes glued on to him as he tried to decipher what was wrong with Wilbur “You alright? Wilbur is something wrong?” Placing one hand on top of Wilbur’s shoulder trying to show support. A genuine sign of affection, which made the man melt in to spilling out his feelings.

“Sorry Tommy, I just have a lot of things on my mind” Wilbur tried his best to be honest, he didn’t like lying. As he spoke Wilbur glanced right at Tommy, his eyes getting fixated immediately with the others. He couldn’t help the temptation to stare, never wanting to look away. It was _mesmerising_ “Well, You can tell me Wilbur! Please?” Tommy didn’t notice the staring, he was too busy trying to figure out what on earth got Wilbur feeling so down. “Its.. just that someone is on my mind” Wilbur had to step very lightly, he didn’t think he was ready to confess. _‘Stop it Wilbur! You know this is wrong.’_

“Oh! Like a woman?? OHHH Wilbur are you in lovee~?” Tommy teased as he leaned closer to Wilbur to give him a few playful pokes, Wilbur wanted to keep his distance away from Tommy to protect him, yet his body seemed to beckon to be closer, he didn’t want to act out irrationally. “Yeah..sort of?” replying with a simple murmur, feeling shame. Still looking deeply into Tommy’s eyes. Wilbur didn’t even notice that he was leaning in closer. Tommy managed to catch on to this, his cheeks seemed to shift into a pinkish hue , Wilbur took note of this. ‘ _How cute..’_ “Who is it? Come on please tell me.. _Wilby..”_

_‘Wilby.. Oh Tommy.. how well it rolls of your tongue..’_

“Its.. _you_..” Wilbur lost control of his emotions, his morals were replaced by his dubious desires. He couldn’t stop now. Wilbur placed a gentle kiss right on to Tommy’s lips, not pulling away or letting Tommy speak. Just letting it sit for a while, savouring the moment. But to Wilbur’s surprise Tommy seemed to be kissing back ever so slightly. It fuelled him with a disturbing hope. Soon Wilbur pushed the teen down on the couch, he was now towering over Tommy’s untainted body.

Wilbur parted away from the kiss, only to go back to staring at those big blue orbs. _How badly he wanted to devour Tommy right now._ Surprise was plastered all over Tommy’s reddened face, he didn’t seem to be against this “Wilby… please.. I-I want this..” soft whines escaped his throat. It sickened Wilbur that Tommy didn’t know what sort of mess he was getting himself into, but the man was too far gone. His desires consumed him.

“Oh Tommy.. I love you.. Tommy.. you’re so pretty Tommy..~” Wilbur would say before peppering soft kissed all over Tommy’s neck, he loved the taste.. it was sweet just like _Tommy.._ He craved more, this wasn’t enough to help satisfy his raging hunger for the boys innocents. Wilbur listened to Tommy’s soft grunts and moans, he found it just so adorable.

Considering that Tommy wasn’t objecting the treatment he was receiving, Wilbur decided to mark his neck and go even further, he wanted the world to know that Tommy was his and only his. “You’re _mine_ Toms, you hear that? All _mine~”_ Wilbur growled into Tommy’s ear, making sure the younger understood this. Tommy seemed to shiver at the meaning of the words and what Wilbur was insinuating on doing with him. Tommy was filled with uncertainty “Wilbur wait.. i-I don’t think I want this…”

Wilbur ignored Tommy’s refusal to go further, he welcomed himself to let his hands wonder under Tommy’s shirt, just feeling the warm smooth skin under his cold hands. “I can’t stop now.. I’ve dreamed to do this to you for _agesss…_! Come on… don’t forget.. you asked for this Toms….~” Wilbur let out a purr as Tommy’s was shaking underneath him. Clearly wanting this to end right now, Wilbur wasn’t thinking properly, all he wanted to do was to fuel his high even more.

Tommy was letting out a few muffled sobs, he loved Wilbur to bits and yes he enjoyed the warm sweet kisses that he had gotten at the start. Since he did have the biggest crush on the man for the longest time ever. Sometimes even imaging being in Wilbur’s warm embrace, he felt as if he could put his entire trust in to Wilbur, but now he was doubting this. Seeing this new broken monstrous side of his dearest Wilby was scaring him. He felt scared of the person that he had fallen for. “I don’t want this anymore..! Please stop..!!”

Wilbur was immersed in his own fantasies, acting out on Tommy out of shear impulse, he was intoxicated and wasn’t listening to the youngers pleas anymore. Only listening to what his lust filled mind was influencing him to do. Carelessly feeling around the boys body and forcefully pulling down Tommy’s pants just like he wanted, getting a fearful gasp to escape from Tommy, who was in a pit of dismay. He knew exactly what he wanted to do now.. and nothing was going to get in his way of acting out upon it- “Wilbur STOP!!!”

The teen had grabbed on to Wilbur’s shoulders firmly. The sudden action caused the man to snap out of his twisted trance. Tommy was looking up at Wilbur, his eyes swollen and puffy from all his sobbing. Those pretty blue eyes were filled with fear, a fear that Wilbur had created. “Tommy… I-“ Wilbur was lost for words. _‘Shame on you, you hurt him’_ He had hurt the one that he was trying to protect. It sickened him that he was going to do those horrendous acts on _his_ precious Tommy.. _‘Wilbur. He isn’t yours to have.’_

Wilbur got off Tommy, finally letting the boy have room to catch a breath. “Wilbur.. i-its okay.. you just got a little carried away..! W-we can start again!” this disgusted Wilbur, how could Tommy even suggest starting again!? After he had almost _raped_ a literal teen, a child that was he was supposed to protect from those sick men. It was WRONG for him to feel this way. Their love for each other was a forbidden fruit that should have never even sprouted in the first place. He couldn’t stay, for Tommy’s sake. “I’m Sorry, but Tommy I’m leaving.”

The living room remained silent for a while, they could hear each others heartbeats thumping away as the thickness of the atmosphere plagued the room. Wilbur was suffocating in his own mind. “Wait- what? No Wilbur p-please! I’m fine! Please don’t go.. i-I” He could tell that all Tommy was doing is lying to himself. He knew that Tommy was desperate to be comforted from that frightful experience, but there was no way in hell Wilbur would let his own dirty hands stain the innocents of pure Tommy. “No. Tommy stop.. what I did should never be forgiven.”

Tommy reached out to hold on to the mans hand, it resulted in Wilbur stepping away, “Wilbur.. I-I love you.. please.. don’t go..! W-we can pretend it never happened!” Hearing Tommy begin to cry out of desperation. It was harsh but he couldn’t stay “I love you too Toms. But that’s why I have to leave.” Wilbur would say out, before turning and making his way to the front door, hearing Tommy cry out for him to stay, it hurt. Wilbur turned to look at Tommy once last time “Goodbye Tommy. Stay strong okay? But forget about me please.” With that said, Wilbur had left Tommy’s home, leaving the broken boy to cry all alone without anyone to turn to for support.

Wilbur had already gotten into his car, starting it up and driving out of the boys drive away. He gripped tightly on to his steering wheel, driving down the rather empty highway as he began to drown in his own thoughts once again, cursing at himself for acting out on impulse. He had hurt Tommy and there was no possible way that he could ever take that back. So it was best if Tommy just never saw him again. Wilbur began feeling sick again, his anxieties were becoming overwhelming to bare. He had pulled over in the emergency lane of a bridge, in need of fresh air.

Getting out of the car, he stumbled and his hands grabbed on to the bridges railing for supporting, just wanting to vomit out all his emotions. _‘All I am is a foul monster.’_ His thoughts consuming him as the vivid images of Tommy came right back, how fearful the teen looked once Wilbur began to act out irrationally on to him, It wasn’t Tommy’s fault that this happened.

No. it was his own and now Wilbur had to live with the consequences of being the man that had ruined Tommy’s childhood. Saddened and blinded by his feelings, Wilbur stepped up on to a part of the railing. Just looking over and down aimlessly at the 20 foot drop that awaited him, the rivers water gurgling and rushing, never still but it seemed to bring comfort and beckon for Wilbur..

As the wind swept past Wilbur, his brunette locks falling over his face, his cold hands were still holding on tightly as he leaned over the railing, he stayed there for a while in the deafening silence of his mind. Only hearing the soft vrooms of the cars as they drove past him on the wet asphalt without a care in the world. The man would contemplate on what he was to do now.

He knew that he can’t go back to Tommy. It would crush Tommy if they had ever laid eyes on each other ever again. Muttering to himself before letting out a deep long sigh, he knew what had to be done, he wouldn’t allow himself to hurt poor Tommy ever again. The boy deserved to live a normal life just being a kid. Wilbur kept looking down at the darkened body of water in despair before closing his eyes.

“I’m Sorry Tommy…”

**Author's Note:**

> AHHH!! this is my first ever actual finished fic!!  
> Was listening to "I'm Sorry Boris" while writing this fic! So i think it fits well with the vibes. My friend helped me out to come with a plot for it- I HOPE YALL ENJOYED IT!! id love to hear feed back :D  
> BTW the ending is up to the readers interpretation!!!


End file.
